Eh.

God, I hate Facebook.  I posted something the other day that, let's say, got mixed reviews.

On one hand, the last time I received that many "likes" on a status update was when I announced my father was cancer free. Yeah.

On the other hand, I offended some of my old friends. I probably offended a lot of people who did not respond, and probably just am generally offensive, so I am trying to figure out how I feel about this. Since I am feeling largely guilty and bad, I will divert my attentions from Facebook and post what I really think here. 

Here's what I said:

 I am an atheist and I celebrate Christmas, not because I condone the Godly rape of young women in order to conceive heavenly Sons, but because I love lights, and hot chocolate, and friends and families, and the warmth of the kitchen when the oven has been on all day.

I was mostly trying to convey my love for the season and my excitement for the coming days with Jared's and my family by juxtaposing my feelings with blatant, uninhibited blasphemy. 

I was told that my post demonstrates a serious misunderstanding of the story of the birth of Jesus. We can start right there.

Everyone knows Christmas originated from the pagan celebration of the solstice and that those traditions were hijacked specifically to grow the Church of the Great Baby Jesus. If you don't know that then you either can't read or flat out don't pay attention, so I am a little sick of getting in trouble around a holiday that was stolen to begin with and continues to be further defiled every single year. 

I was also told I need to reconsider my definition of rape. Nothing pisses me off more than this, partially because we spent so much of the summer and fall listening to halfwit old men tell us that we deserve our rape babies, and partially because rape is rape. It is not something to be interpreted like out-dated and irrelevant holy books.

What I can tell you is that some sort of exchange happened between the Holy Father and the Virgin Mary and ended in such a way that she had a fuggin embryo attached to her uterus. I get it - God is God, he can do whatever he wants, however he wants. I suppose that means he could have transported some magical swimmers straight past Mary's cervix, but at what point do we stop to question the motives and morality of a deity who impregnates virgins? Either God is a pervert, or Mary is a liar. In either case, calm the fuck down, I was making a joke.