Yesterday I made friends with a cat.
he only spoke to me because I wore all black
with yellow shoes.
he wears all black all the time and
little lemon eyes.
Neither of us wears a collar.

If I ever have a cat, I will call him Richard Simmons
so that his fur grows up to be curly.
My logic has no flaws.
Only he will not wear spandex because that,
my friends, is animal cruelty,
if only because there is no space for the tail.

And if I have a baby, she will learn to love the snow
the same way many of us learned to love the water:
thrown into it, naked, at infancy.