de-flower, de-wind.

I remember thinking,

when younger--

that once that flower died

my whole

world

would change.

That I would walk the halls a new--real!--

woman, not just loved, but admired.

Imagine my surprise when I learned

that wasn't love. Force and heavy hands

≠ anything (they only equal those two, sorry things).

And, (years later, different hands) I remember thinking

for hours and

hours [fearing] the day the string

that held us from ground to kite

would break. Snap.

It didn't. The wind just

died. Stopped the flight.

You can imagine my surprise

when the world didn't end.

I guess that takes a lot more than

flowers and wind.

Starting again.

I'm working on finding myself again. It's working pretty well. I spent a good deal of Thursday's anthropology class writing poetry and lyrics. I wish I could remember where I wrote them down, though :(

Slowly realizing that I need to post the things I write/record without caring who sees them or who will hate/judge me for it.

So here we go again.

I just can't say 'No."

It's like every time I talk to Andy Smart my balls shrink to the size of peanuts.

Horcruxes

Jake: Jesus lives in the heart of every Christian.

Me: Wait, so Jesus split himself up into 10 million Horcruxes?

Jake: Yup. Gotta kill all the Christians before you can even touch Jesus.

Looks like we have work to do.

Ryan says:

I just thought that you two were the greatest thing since extendable ears.

23 hours

It's so hard to
not call him baby.
you can't heal your
heart talking to the one
you left.
doesn't make sense.
still
miss
him.

Day 1

and I just want to be tucked in and kissed good night. I know this is the right thing, but God, it's going to be difficult.